As we were growing up we had a warm and loving mother and also a taskmaster mother.
When we as children fell and skinned our knee, we would run to our mother who would give us a hug, tell us it would be all right, put on a Band-Aid, kiss our check and then send us back out to play. Latter when we came home we would often meet our other mother who told us in no uncertain terms to clean-up our room, and clean it up now. And don’t you even think about watching television until your homework is done.
There are a lot of caregiving books, BLOGs, newsletters and support groups that concentrate on helping caregivers in the role of mother number one. It is a very important need, and many caregivers do not get the support and assurance that they deserve. Without this type of support caregivers often become overwhelmed in their day to day struggles to keep doing what must be done.
When a caregiver is feeling overwhelmed it is often hard to play the role of mother number two. In fact no one likes to play the role of taskmaster so there is much less volume in the caregiving space telling caregivers that they need to get organized (clean-up your room) and get knowledgeable about the many issues impacting them and their elder (do your homework).
We at ElderIssues appreciate the caregiver’s struggles, but we are primarily mother number two. We want all of those involved with elder caregiving to clean up their rooms and get organized. Have the facts about your elder ready and on hand to provide to those who are providing them care and assistance. Medical, legal, financial and social providers do their best work when they have up-to-date and accurate facts to work with.
You also need to be knowledgable about these different areas as well. You don’t need to be a doctor or a lawyer, but you do need to at least be able to talk the talk and understand what the professionals are telling you and what questions you need to be asking
So feel our hugs, but now go “Clean up your room” and “Do your homework”.